Initial Reflections on the Murder of Sonya Massey
Some disorganized personal thoughts from a Black, mentally ill person.
This, I think, is the quote (spoken by officer/murderer Sean Grayson) that disturbed me even more than I initially thought was possible.
I had already read about the Sonya Massey case, learning the horrific facts with a dawning sense of horror: she was a Black woman who had called the police for help when she thought there was an intruder in her house, and white officer Sean Grayson shot her. He claimed that she was not worth helping after he shot her, and she died shortly thereafter.
I learned later that she was a paranoid schizophrenic, and I felt even deeper of a kinship with her than I had already — both of us, Black, mentally ill gender minorities. I believe you can’t fully understand the murder of Sonya Massey without understanding all of these factors: the fact that she was a Black woman with a stigmatized mental health condition.
This year, I have had the police come to my dorm when I similarly reached out to my college for help. I easily could have suffered the same fate — the police who came to my dorm were armed. The only thing that separated us was chance. All I was was lucky.
“This fucking bitch is crazy.” It’s a uniquely disgusting phrase; one so wound up in the misogyny and ableism entrenched in our society, dehumanizing by the axes of gender and mental health status alike. It’s a chilling dismissal of a woman’s earnest plea for assistance when she felt she was in danger; a way to brush aside her fears so callously by someone whose job is ostensibly to protect and serve.
It’s disgusting because it’s not surprising. Calling “bitches” “crazy” is common among men. I’ve heard it myself, and, unsurprisingly, seen it reflected in our former president. In an article for the New York Times, writers Maggie Habermann and Jonathan Swan enumerate Trump’s favorite insults against his female opponents, one of which includes the epithet “crazy”, used against Vice President Kamala Harris, his current opponent in the 2024 presidential race. He has also referred to the former chancellor of Germany, Angela Merkel, as “that bitch”. If women in the highest seats of power cannot escape misogyny, is there any hope for ordinary women, particularly Black, mentally ill ones?
“Don’t hurt me” is equally heartbreaking, for different reasons.
“Don’t hurt me,” was what Sonya Massey said as soon as she opened the door to face the officers that had descended upon her home. She was surely aware of the long and painful history of police violence against Black people, particularly Black disabled people. By the time they turn 28, over half of all Black disabled people have been arrested. She may have even been thinking about her own family — her ancestor, William Donnegan, was lynched by a white mob over a century ago. I don’t mean to speculate, but rather to call attention to context.
“Don’t hurt me.” We live in a society where when a Black woman calls the police — her supposed protectors — her first thought is that she may be hurt. And, devastatingly, she was beyond correct.
I have only read about the murder in articles; I can’t bring myself to watch the video. But “don’t hurt me” will ring in my ears regardless, as “I can’t breathe” does.
In July 2024, the #SayHerName campaign is nearly a decade old, and yet the phrase bears repeating, endlessly. Every new victim of misogynoir re-opens a wound that has never fully closed.
“Don’t hurt me.” Justice would be a world in which these three short words held power.
“Don’t hurt me,” is all she asked. What do we do to make sure that the world listens?